“If you stay silent as a mouse you will just stay where you are.“

This was the advice I got from a team lead at my first job, right after I’d rushed through the office to complain about a broken system that endangered a delivery to our client the next week. He praised me and didn’t want to shut me down, even if I might have overdone it. For many of us, finding that voice is the hardest part. We hold back our ideas, questions, and concerns for a number of reasons. Let’s break down the four most common ones:

  • We assume that something is obvious.
  • We assume that others know better.
  • Deference to authority.
  • Physiological: not feeling safe, fear of judgement.

Stating the Obvious

One of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming that others have the same knowledge or perspective as we do. What seems obvious to you is often the result of your unique experiences, learning, and context. But others may not have the same background.

One of my university professors used to say there are only three types of proof: by contradiction, by reasoning, and obvious. I struggled with the 3rd one because when something is somehow “obvious”, it wasn’t that obvious to me at all.

Quickly re-stating that “obvious” part often removes the ambiguity from the discussion and sets the common baseline. Without being aligned on the same baseline the entire conversation doesn’t make sense, that’s why it is super-important to simply re-state the “obvious” and explicitly list what the assumptions are.

Sometimes I notice how very senior leaders would ask very basic questions about something only to witness that not everybody in the room was on the same page about this basic truth.

Sharing the “obvious” has very little drawback. While there may be a small cost, say a bit more document space or an extra minute in a meeting, that cost is a cheap insurance policy against catastrophic misalignment. A little information overhead is always better than massive miscommunication.

Others know Better

It is oftentimes true that others know better (to state the obvious). But this shouldn’t be a blocker, rather it should be an incentive! If you speak up and you’re wrong, you become the main beneficiary: you get corrected and learn a critical piece of information. If you’re silent, you leave the meeting still misinformed. If a question is forming in your mind, it’s highly likely that several other people in the room are thinking the exact same thing but are too afraid to ask. By asking, you don’t expose your ignorance; you serve the collective need for clarity.

Deference to Authority

Sometimes it’s not fear or lack of clarity, but simple deference to authority. When senior leaders are present, people instinctively stay quiet, assuming their ideas matter less or that others will take the lead. This one is tricky as it also includes some cultural aspects of how you were raised and also cultural aspects of your company.

More often than not, however, leaders actually want more people to speak. They value a challenging question or divergent perspective far more than a room full of nodding heads. In fact, leaders sometimes speak first precisely to kick-start the conversation, and they often intentionally hold back because they don’t want their presence to silence the room. In fact, sometimes leaders don’t speak at all precisely because they want to ensure others feel there is room to contribute. Silence out of deference is perceived as alignment, which can lead to misguided decisions. Don’t assume your idea matters less. Assume your perspective is a critical puzzle piece the decision-maker needs.

Physiological Safety

This one is a tough one because it’s rooted in our fundamental human desire for psychological safety. This is a need that is not always easy to satisfy in high-pressure environments, such as the big tech corporate world.

Google has done this famous study “Project Aristotle” which concluded that psychological safety was the number one predictor of a team’s effectiveness, more so than the individual skills, intelligence, or seniority of the team members. The “how” a team worked together was more important than the “who.” Safety there means that team members are confident that no one will embarrass or punish them for admitting a mistake, asking a question, or offering a new idea.

Being comfortable taking “interpersonal risks,” such as challenging the status quo, offering divergent ideas, or asking for help is a lot more beneficial than taking another risk of closing in and solving the problem on your own.

Conclusion

The path from “mouse” to “wolf” isn’t about aggression or volume. It’s about recognizing that your unique perspective is a crucial piece of the collective intelligence. Your job isn’t to be an expert on everything, but to ensure that the room has all the information it needs: whether that’s stating the obvious, asking the ‘dumb’ question, or challenging the senior leader. So:

Ask the ‘n00b’ question. Challenge the status quo. State the obvious. Share your ideas. You lose virtually nothing, but the collective clarity and your growth is a big win. Speak up!